Ben was singing "Jesus Loves Me" last night. His rendition is "for the bible tells me so. little one's come eat and see, they are weak but he is strong". We have no idea where he got that from but we aren't going to correct him just yet, because frankly I dig his version :)
It kind of reminds me of when Brooklyn thought a pajama party was actually called a pagyna party. It was so darn funny, we hated to correct her, but then we realized people in public may think we are perverts.
There is nothing cuter than kids using words incorrectly or making up their own lines to songs! Love it.
Yesterday Brooklyn went to lunch and play for the first time (which is basically extended care at preschool) and I taught a class in Portland at the pearl studio so Ben and I mad a morning date of it down town.
We sat on a cafe patio, in the sun, and I watched him (there was zero sharing, despite my pleading) eat a cupcake and we oohed and ahhhhed as the street car would go by. I don't believe anything in the world would have made that boy happier. Cupcakes + trains = A happy Benny
Anything that has an engine this boy is into. It still amazes me how he just instinctively came to love these things too.
Some days I feel like can rock this motherhood thing any time, any place, any where... And then there are days where I get home after grocery shopping with a fussy 2 year old and barely muster the strength to throw a pb sand which on the table, only to discover I'm rocking a giant hole in the butt cheek of my leggings.
Today was one of those days.
In light of what happened in Boston yesterday I thankfully have an amazing grip on "perspective". The perspective is- we live in one broken down, sad and scary world. I will never understand why people choose to speak unkindly to others, let alone murder innocent people (children included) but I know that in these moments God beckons is to pray and ask for Him to come down and be with us.
I was having a very emotional day on Sunday and in the car on the way up to meet Matt with just Ben in the car I Found myself uttering a silent prayer with worship music in the back ground. Ben pulled his binky out and said with his adorable stutter "wwwwwwhat God saying mama?"
If love to ask that question today on so many fronts.
Holding (once again) my family a little closer and much tighter tonight.
Here was the sunset on my drive home from teaching last night after some amazing thunder showers here in Portland. Makes you stop and ponder all the more. I choose to believe God is still good and just, even when His people aren't.
Last Tuesday my mom called to tell me she was heading down to San Diego to be with my Grandma Mary. Grandma Mary, 95 years old, started getting less stable at a rapid speed right before we left for Sunriver. I called my mom on Monday while out doing my grocery shopping (when we got home from Sunriver) and Grandma was the same and my mom was planning on heading down to see her in two weeks. The next morning I was a a play date with some friends, talking about all my mom was going through, when I missed a call from her saying her ticket was booked, Grandma was dying quickly and my mom was leaving that afternoon.
I got home, put the kiddos down, hit the floor and prayed my heart out in preparation for what was lying ahead.
The back story (even further).
My mom got a call that her oldest brother (she is the youngest of two older brothers) was diagnosed with very aggressive cancer right before Christmas. He was put on hospice about two weeks ago. Then, the Friday before we left for our Sunriver weekend I found out she had been laid off (a blessing in disguise) and my head started spinning.
So, to recap, Friday my mom is laid off, Tuesday she leaves to be with her mom, Wednesday her brother passed away, 18 hours later she was there, laying with her mom when she passed away.
By Friday (Good Friday) I was at the end of myself emotionally. I decided to pack the kids (and multiple changes of clothes) up and head to Canon Beach for a quick day trip.
We hit the road, Brookyn said "mom, where are we going" and I told her it was a surprise. Both kids fell asleep in the car, when they woke up we were literally pulling into Canon Beach.
On the drive over it was pouring.
I literally prayed "God, should I just turn around and head home? Was this a mistake?" By the time we hit the road it was already 11:30. I turned around to see both my babies fast asleep, so I turned the music off and kept driving.
We pulled up past the hills to see this scened...
It was a glorious day. The kids played in the water for two solid hours. Chasing the waves, running from them, digging for shells, trying to find buried treasure, playing hide and seek up in the tall grass. It was exactly what our souls needed. I'm telling you, kids have a sixth sense. Neither of them knew anything that had transpired in the hours preceding our trip, but they were just as restless as I was to get in the car and drive.
We got to the sand, plunked our blankets and buckets down, tore off our shoes and socks and basked in the glorious sun, listened earnestly to the crash of the waves and embraced the cool wind blowing on our face. In that moment the song that kept playing through my mind was "It is well with my soul"....and in that moment...it was.
This little girl definitely shares her mamas passion for the vastness and power of the ocean. She reminded me so much of myself as a young girl. Fearless, enamored and in love with the waves.
We went into town and grabbed an ice cream cone and latte, sat in the sun for a while longer, and then headed home. It was a whirlwind of a trip, but EXACTLY what we needed.
My heart is just broken for my mom. She is handling all of it with such grace and beauty. Mom, I love you, I will always love you and if I could take this pain from you I would.
