Buh buh buh

This is the scene that has been running in my head all day. Need I say more?
I really thought this might be the state matt would find me in tonight when he get's home. Thankfully there is a glorious thing called naptime, in which I get some quiet and perspective. So honey, I am sorry for being a little "buh buh buh", she has just worn me out!

Why did no one warn me that the TWO's were so HARD?!!!?

In the words of my little spitfire "oh-me-my-gosh". TGIF is all I have to say!

Yesterday I was so excited to go see her after I got done at the store. I walked into grandma's house expecting a big hug and a smile. Instead she walked right up to me and hit me! Okay?? So, I disciplined and that is where it really began to go down hill. To say the least since yesterday afternoon and off and on all day today there have been multiple tantrums, time outs, bouts of screaming, a lot of "NO's!" and refusing to hold my hand when walking in the street. Basically she has become a full fledged two year old over night.

She has figured out that there is nothing waiting at the other end of 1.2.3, so guess what's on the table for serious discussion at the Feenstra house this weekend? Yup, discipline. Spanking vs time out, punishment vs reward, etc. I have been praying very specifically for guidance in this area for a long time, so God please give me grace, patience and wisdom.

I keep wondering if she is acting out a little sooner than some of her peers because she knows there is a big change on the way. I am learning at a rapid pace that the mother-daughter relationship is an amazing one, but going to be filled with moments like these forever going forward. We are raising a little woman, and I just long for so much for her, but in the end- I can only be a guide and a model, I cannot live her life for her. Talk about pressure! This morning I lost my cool because she was on the floor screaming at the top of her lungs, banging on the floor for a "snack". There are only so many times I can listen to the high pitched wail for a snack before it makes something inside of me- snap! Then I feel awful and ashamed for yelling...because after all, she's only TWO. She just seems so much older at times, that it's easy to forget that, and even harder to manage.

I read a quote the other day that I loved "I want to be who I long for my child to become". So true. I guess that's where grace comes in. Even though I failed miserably today, I get a clean slate whenever I ask for it, and that is amazing. Lord, give me patience and perspective. Amen.

28 days

November is here and the countdown has begun...

I am due 4 weeks from today! Unbelievable. Last night I had my first official 3rd trimester labor dream. Woke up in a cold sweat with my stomach rock hard. I was fully contracting, which was probably a contributing factor to the very vivid dream. And now, here I sit at 11:30pm with insomnia. Can't seem to shut my brain off, despite being so very very tired.

I just can't believe we will be meeting this person in a matter of weeks. It's like Christmas morning and the night before a marathon all rolled into one. I am petrified and excited beyond words...I know this is nothing new, as I have felt this on several occasions throughout the pregnancy, it's just getting more intense now.

Prayers: for safe end of pregnancy, safe delivery, healthy baby, great nurser and sleeper, and a fantastic transition to becoming a family of 4. What? That's not too much to ask for :)

My next appointment is Tues the 8th at 3pm. Final ultrasound and first "official" check of progress. Stay tuned!

Trick or Treat

We carved a pumkin the other night. Well, daddy carved a pumkin, Brooklyn would watch for a few minutes, then hop down from her chair and say "I'll be right back...I need to go dance for a minute". Ummm, okay.

On Wed our mom's group decided to dress the kiddos up in their costumes and have a party! The kids had a blast!! They looked so awesome all dressed up.

B & her Wes

Sassy bumble bee

The crew

It's been a great week so far and it's not even halloween yet!! I sense a sugar hangover coming to the Feenstra house on Monday. Watch out!

Pumpkin Patch

We went out to Sauvie's Island Saturday with the Colton's for some good ole' pumpkin fun. We had a great time, until the kiddos decided it was time to leave aka melt down's began ;)

Then, later that evening B and I went to Jackson's 3rd birthday party at Lee Farms...where we are regulars now (partially kidding). This was our 3rd trip in 2 weeks. They rented the entire farm out, so we had run of the place and B was in farm heaven! There was the bounce house, the big slide, baby cows, piglets, baby chicks, billy goats, puppies and cupcakes! What more could a girl ask for? My only condition that evening, we have to keep our shoes on. I only met with resistance a few times. Seriously, my kid has a major issue with shoes...it's kinda weird.

Then, Monday we went back to Lee Farms again with Kristin and Kali. I know, I know, but like I said, B loves it and with this amazing weather it would be a shame not to spend as much time outside as possible.

This weather has been so amazing- loving every second!! Trying to soak up all this special one on one time with Brooklyn before we go from 3 to 4. It's very...bittersweet.

Today we are home doing nothing, despite another gorgeous day outside. I came home from work last night to find one bizarre scene. Matt conked out on nyquil (he wasn't feeling well all day) and Brooklyn laying in a pile of puke. So, after a bath, load of laundry and spot treating the carpet we all finally got some rest. She seems to be okay today, but we're laying low just to make sure. I slept terrible because I kept thinking she would get sick again and aspirate...funny how motherhood changes your brain completely. It will be a very early night in the Feenstra household.

slow down

Last night we made home made fish and chips and sat down to dinner together, just the three of us. First off, yum! Can't believe we haven't thought to make that before, home made fried fish, seasoned french fries and pickle on the side= delicious. But I divert. Matt and I were exchanging stories from our day, Brooklyn was in the best mood and being her usual self- cracking us up, and I felt this overwhelming feeling of satisfaction with life. It just hit me, that all too often, I am so focused on what's next, what needs to be done, or what's to come, that I can overlook the preciousness of the simplest moments. There's something to be said for my very simple life. I am not rolling in the dough, seeking out a promotion, or even being thanked as much as I THINK I should be. I am not planning any extravagant trips or saving for expensive pieces of jewelry, I'm not looking for my dream home, I don't shop for myself...really ever anymore, but my life is RICH beyond measure. Every now and then it hits me, that if all I had left in this world was my faith, my husband and my child, it would be enough. But I not only have those three things to keep me going, I have MUCH more. I have amazing friendships that the Lord has hand picked for ME, amazing family who- although can make me crazy at times, would do anything for myself and my family, I have a roof over my head, food on the table every day and a greater purpose than...ME. I am rich beyond my wildest imagination. Sometimes, it just takes savoring the simple to bring me back to that reality. The way my husband makes me laugh every single day, the sound of my daughters voice when she sings "Jesus loves me", the simple fact that I know God is using me for HIM in the lives of so many people I love, that makes me rich.

No real purpose in this post, other than to express my appreciation for this life and the beauty I can see everywhere and in everyone when I chose to slow down, look around and thank Him for all He has done.

potty training...not for the faint of heart

We are successfully potty trained! However, I'm not going to lie, it was no easy feat. She did fantastic, and caught on very quickly, but it took much longer than I had anticipated. I kept hearing these stories of kiddos that were done and totally trained in 3 or 4 days, that just was not the reality. I think it took 4 solid days of being diligent about putting her in her big girl undies and asking every hour if she needed to go "potty" and then it all clicked; but there were still many days of accidents. She has not had an accident in 5 days now!! I am so proud of her.

The first time she successfully went pee I jumped up and down and cheered so hard I think I freaked her out a little. The timing started off a bit rocky because it was the week of the wedding that we pulled the trigger, so there were times where I just wanted to put a diaper on her. She has only been wearing a diaper at nap and bedtime for over a week now and she wakes up dry from nap time!! So, the name of the game is CONSISTENCY. This weekend we were out running errands and had to stop not once at a McDonalds, but twice because our little lady had to go potty. Both times were false alarms, but we have to give the benefit of the doubt. By the way, McDonalds bathrooms are disgusting. Just fyi :)

Next thing on the to-do list is get rid of the beloved binkie, but I'm not going to rush it. She LOOOOVES her bink. I mean, L.O.V.E.S it. Our new thing is to snuggle on her bed when she wakes up in the morning. I come in , and the first thing she says is "mama, you wanna snuggle with me for a minute". Awww. So she get's to hang onto her bink for a few more minutes and we talk and I rub her back. She's no dumbie, I know it's her secret agenda to hang onto that bink for a few more precious seconds, but I too am no dumbie and will take the snuggle time whenever I can get it :) even if it means letting my daughter work me.

Erin & Jonathan's wedding 10.2.10

The wedding festivities started Friday morning with a beautiful brunch in honor of miss Erin the beautiful bride to be.

Brooklyn was a happy camper as long as she had water and a spoon to play with. Oh to be two.

Then it was off to the rehearsal, home for an attempt at a nap (which B did not partake in) and then to the rehearsal dinner. Yummm. Food was great.

jack, matt, chuck

bethany with her drink rest :)

Loved this one of the three of us...sorry, I know this post is picture overload.

The drive home- DONE.


Saturday morning we headed out to the salon to get beautified. It was lovely and relaxing...until we got in bethany's car to leave for the wedding. The car wouldn't start. Yup, dead battery. That was a 30 minute panic session! I got some great pics, and it will be a great story for years to come. Thankfully my girlfriend Jen and her boyfriend Mike live right around the corner of the salon so they were nice enough (and fortunately home) to come jump us (thank you Jen!!). Seriously not funny at the time though.

Off to the wedding!


Watching these two dance together melted my heart. She was the first person on the floor and last one to leave. She was truly the dancing queen!

my love

silly girl playing out on the altar

dad, bride, brother

Brooklyn and Madeline as flower girls

mom, dad, ash and I

Soooooo tired from dancing

Here I am at 32 weeks. I cannot believe I only have 8 weeks to go! Brooklyn and I were snuggling on the couch the other day reading and she turned around and said "move the baby mama!". Apparently trying to lay against my stomach is no longer comfy ;) Sorry girl, this baby isn't going anywhere.