loooooooooong week

It has been an AWAFUL week. I cannot express this enough. TGIF because if I had one more day of the constant whining in my ear I really think I might lose it completely. I am not soliciting advice or even looking for sympathy, I am just venting as I would in a journal. My head is literally spinning and I have been hearing phantom crying in my sleep because all Brooklyn has done all week is cry. She was up all night Sat, Sun and Monday last week, so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt that she is just catching up on sleep and is still not feeling 100%...but man oh man am I ready for a break. Everything is a fight, negotiation, time out, spanking or 45 min crying match this week. Case in point- she wanted a smart dog for lunch (I was just grateful she made a decisive decision as to what she wanted) so I made it and asked if she wanted dip (ketchup), to which she replied, yes. Got the ketchup out and poured it on her plate- you would have thought I just pulled her hair. She lost it. Broke down into complete hysterics and started screaming that she didn't want dip. The problem here is, I am feeling so worn down that I just wanted the crying to stop, so I was so tempted to just wipe the dip off and try to calm her down, BUT I know that is only going to send a mixed message (that sometimes it's okay to freak out and throw a tantrum, but other times it's not). So....off to time out we went again. Sigh. Rinse and repeat. all.week.long.

I talked to a girlfriend who had a very strong willed first child and she was recalling for me the times that she would have to lock her son in his room and he would be down at the crack of the door screaming to come out and she would just cry on the other side. I hate hearing stories like this because I know exactly how she felt during those moments, but it does help me immensely to hear others have gone through this and made it out with well adjusted kids on the other side. Something she heard in the midst of her journey was "you have to break the will of a strong willed child". Meaning, their will needs to bend to ours, much like our's to God's. Hmmmmm. Makes sense. However, how do you bend the will of a two year old that can't see past their own needs? There in lies the crux of the issue.

Matt is in month two of school, so thursday nights we're on our own. Brooklyn has become very scared of the dark, so bed time has become a bit more challenging, especially on thursdays because the security of having dad there is gone and it truly does affect her. I feel like Friday's are a little harder for this reason, she is fed up with sharing me with ben and she misses her daddy.

Going to go for a nice long run tonight and perhaps a bubble bath.