Benjamin: 9 months

Benny boy is nine months old...and CRAWLING!! well, sorta crawling. I am doing the typical "mom" thing and counting his precious little scoot-crawl as crawling. He decided last night he was tired of not being able to get to Brooklyn, so off he went. It was incredible to be able to look over and catch him in the act. Brooklyn was even more excited than me. She just kept screaming "good job benny boy!! You're doing it". He was quite proud of himself. I'll have to get some different video footage (I pulled out my phone yesterday to get it) but my house looks like the scene of a burglary, and he was kind of petering out, so we'll hold off on sharing a video. My friend Kelly made the most amazing video of her son during the entire crawling process, set to music! So that's a hard act to follow.

I have pushed his 9 month check-up back so I can do Brooklyn's three year at the same time. I like to call that using my noodle. I realized I had two check up's set up for each of them and it's hard enough to do one of them, so we'll just wait a while longer for the stats.

Aside from crawling he is still pulling up on everything. No more teeth...yet. Still adores food with all his might. Yesterday he polished off two waffles, a banana, cup of cheerios and some peaches. He still does his adorable wheezy laugh. Brooklyn can enter the room and he just lights up. Although he's beginning to hold his own when she tries to get rough or pushy with him. He's smartened up to the fact that if she's doing something that she shouldn't i.e. wrapping something around his neck (go ahead, gasp, I did) if he cries I come running. True story, I walked in the other day and she had an exercise band that she pretends is a leash for her puppies wrapped around his stomach all the way up around his neck. Not tight, but we had one of "those talks" where I just keep talking to hammer home just how not okay that was.

Still no words, lot's of sounds and playing with his tongue. He has said dada, but I'm not sure it's in the correct context.

He loves to be outside, watching Brooklyn play in the backyard or splashing in the kiddie pool with her has quickly become one of his favorite things to do. What a difference nine months makes. He is officially a baby, and soon to be a toddler! Time sure flys.

Love you sweet boy, can't wait to see what the end of this first year brings for you. 

mass: an unfriendly word

Woke up monday with excruciating pain in my right abdomen. Two hours later matt was home getting his mom settled in with the kids before taking me to the er. ugh.

After two hours in the waiting room i was finally brought behind the steel door into the chaos behind the scenes. staff that work in er's deserve time & a half pay year round. not a fun looking job. but i digress.

The pain continued to worsen and they sent me for an ultrasound, lovely pelvic exam and finally a mri. they strongly suspected it was my appendix because of my symptoms and the location of my pain, alas that was not it. they did find a mass in my uterus. i learned very quickly this is not a good word, and not one they throw around cavalierly.

Came home (still in a great deal of pain) to see my precious babies (whom i had been away from all day) with a follow up referral with my ob's office. cris had been with b & b all day and they were so good for her, like unusually, over the top amazing. praise god. bethany came over made dinner for everyone and had flowers for me. i don't know what i would do without my family, all of them. i love you all so much.

The dr office called today and said they wanted me to come right in. errr, kinda scary. i really wasn't worried at all up until that phone call. so, i held my breath and prayed the entire drive to the office. turns out it was a cyst that ruptured! what the heck. i didn't know a cyst rupturing could cause that much pain...but let me tell you it can!! it can also cause a lot of similar symptoms to appendicitis. the mass was leftover tissue, and the fluid they saw was blood. it all fit together very neatly into this box that explains what is happening. if you know me at all, you know i like having answers and when we left the ER it looked like we might not get one. i am just overwhelmed with gratefulness for my long term health in tact and that God once again showed his faithfulness to me.

This picture makes me smile. sometimes a girl just needs to splash around in a ball gown.

~august~

Good golly, sometimes being a woman is the pits. Men do not have to deal with hormones, and hormones are generally no bueno.

August is such a roller coaster in this house. Luke's birthday/death on the 10th, anniversary of Michelle's death on the 20th and then Brooklyn's birthday on the 28th. It's just a LOT of stuff to give thought to in one month. You know?

I am feeling extra emotional today, maybe it's just a woman thing, maybe it's because I was up at 5:30 with my son who got some wires crossed on wake up time, maybe it's because God is beckoning me to spend a little more time nestled in His word today to find comfort. Whatever the reason, here I am spending lot's of time thinking about how much has happened in this humble life of mine in the month of August.

So here I sit listening to worship music, roasting veggies to make baby food, listening to brooklyn make food for her babies and animals (all of which are dressed in her dresses) and about to start a batch of cookies. It's funny how keeping your hands busy can bring comfort. I am savoring the thoughts about what Luke and Michelle are doing in eternity. I know they will be smiling down in a week when we celebrate brooklyn's third birthday (with cake of course).

Luke and Michelle we miss you so much. God has blessed our lives (as you already know) in ways we could never have fathomed with Brooklyn, Ben and Lisa since you left this earth. From my heart.

speed round catch up

We are home from eagle crest (post dedicated to that later) and feeling rested, reconnected and blessed! It was so great to have no agenda, but time as a family.

Benny learned a new trick while we were gone, how to pull himself up to a standing position! He was so pleased with himself.

Matt is still done with school through the end of this month. yahoo.

I have been running more and more. It seems to keep me grounded, which is a good thing for everyone involved in my life.

Brooklyn is a human sponge. There are no boundaries to what she can say now. Her moods are much more even keeled these days and I think that has a lot to do with the ability to express herself both emotionally and verbally. If there is a problem we sit down and discuss it. This doesn't mean tantrums are non existent, but they are few and far between compared to this time last year. One afternoon we were laying around while benny napped and brooklyn went and grabbed a pad of paper and a pen and walked over to matt holding it out like she was taking his order at a restaurant. We both had to giggle a little. This went on for several minutes, her muttering to herself about the "on-greed-E-uuunts" she needed. Soup and eggs, and soup and more eggs. She's BIG into make believe these days.

She loooooves her daddy. Yesterday (his first day back to work in almost two weeks) she realized he was going to be gone all day and she started weeping. I say weep rather than cry because that's exactly what it was. She was so sad to not see his face. Broke my heart, but made me smile all at the same time. I love to watch the love affair those two have with each other.

One night while we were driving back to eagle crest from bend everyone was in the best mood. Benny was cracking up at brooklyn, we were flying down the back roads with nothing but the sunset and horses for a view, warm breeze flowing through the car and squeals of laughter from the back seat, the love of my life rubbing my leg. I had this overwhelming feeling of satisfaction and joy. It was such a simple thing, but so awesome. That's life I guess, the simple pleasures are always the one's that bring the greatest joy. If the saying "you're a product of your environment" is true, then I want my children's environment to be that...lot's of simple joy, and in turn have them pour that out on others. Central Oregon captures that, simple joy found all over. The mountain views, the warm breezes in the afternoon, hiking around a gorgeous lake, taking a walk down at the old mill.

I better wrap this up, brooklyn just woke up from her nap (which by the way she insists wearing pj's for these days...that is when she takes a nap) and she's snuggling on my lap when she says "mom, what's that smell?" I smelled it too, she tooted, so I said "I think you tooted" to which she replies "yup, I smell my bottom too, and it smells disgusting". Hahaha

4 years

Hard to believe it's been four years since we said good bye. I know heaven is more beautiful because it has you, our sweet Luke.

We spent a great day outside in central Oregon enjoying God's beauty, and thinking of you. We love you so much.

<3

Mom, Dad, B & B

sweet nothings from my love

With all this new found time on our hands (temporary, but I'll take it) with matt out of school and home on vacation we've been doing lot's of nothing...and other fun things.

Yesterday morning we packed up, went to the toy store to get bean an early birthday gift- a pink soccer ball, then headed out for a run. Then we hit up costco, home for naps, then off to the zoo. Great day!

During nap time, matt and I decided to purge in the garage a little. Our garage is the catch all at this point. We were making nice progress until we got stalled on a few boxes full of memories. For me it was a box of old pictures, cards from when I was a kid, and other fun stuff like a porcelein doll and a barbie of mine from when I was 7 or 8. I bequeathed it to brooklyn and she has had them in her hands ever since.

Matt found a box of undergrad papers and binders as well as his old report cards from when he was young. It was fun to sit and ping back and forth with what we found.

He looked up at me and said "did I ever show you this?" reading me a letter still attached in a spiral notebook. I looked up when he finished reading it, with tears in my eyes, and said "no".

This is what it read:
Lauren,
I thought it would be time will spent to take a shot at trying to convey how grateful I am for your support over the past 18 months. I know it hasn't been easy to watch me finish school, on more than one level. It has placed a greater burden on you around the house and with Brooklyn. You have handled these responsibilities with grace and humility. I know on some level, you have also watched me grow in confidence and gain purpose, when these are things that you desire for yourself. Your willingness to place your dreams on hold confirms for me my responsibility to work with diligence and provide for our family.

I could not ask for a more perfect partner in life. My greatest desire is to provide for you and our family the kind of life that you deserve. God has blessed me richly by your presence in my life.

At the top of the letter were written these verses:

Proverbs 31:10-12
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:25-31
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

So sweet, and so glad he found this. I am very, very blessed.

sunriver

What a great week in Sunriver. Buff, the kids and I all packed up early wednesday and headed over. The drive took about an hour longer than usual, but that was to be expected with potty, nursing and lunch stops. I was so thankful to have Bethany with me.

The first night was a train wreck as far as sleep. Ben woke up every hour and then thought it was morning at 5am because our room was so bright. He was in tears, I was in tears and we were waking the whole house up. Not pretty. Thankfully Erin and Jonathan were gracious enough to swap rooms early with me, so the next night and I put the pac-n-play in the closet (don't worry, it was huge) and he slept SO much better!

Matt finished his final class before this august break with a bang and woke up at o-dark-thirty to come meet us friday am. He walked in the door, straight over to me, and gave me the biggest kiss! It was one of those moments where only the two of us knew the relief we were experiencing at that very moment. Vacation could officially begin!

We did lot's of playing at the pool, BBQ's, went for runs, evening walks, fed the deer (which brooklyn was stoked about of course), played games on the deck. It was a fabulous weekend. It was so nice that Erin and Jonathan were there as well, it's hard to only see them a few times a year, so we just soaked it all up!

pool time!

benny hammin it up with grandma lisa

bbq with my dear friend ang and her fam who were over for the weekend as well

brooklyn's bff kali was in sunriver too so we had a pool date

girl time getting ready for dinner in bend

watching the helicopter take off at the airport

brooklyn at the pancake breakfast at the airport

benny with egg all over his face. true story, I had him in the bjorn and was carrying my plate to the table, didn't notice until we sat down he had nabbed a giant paw full of my breakfast and was shoveling it in his mouth. This boy LOVES food. I cannot emphasize that enough.

The Kaber's came for dinner :)

not the best pic, but had to post one of the braids. for some reason braids became the go to look for the week. perhaps it's because there was lot's of pool time and very little showering going on ;)

Thank you c & l for hosting a wonderful weekend filled with great memories!! We are so blessed by our family.