Ben was singing "Jesus Loves Me" last night. His rendition is "for the bible tells me so. little one's come eat and see, they are weak but he is strong". We have no idea where he got that from but we aren't going to correct him just yet, because frankly I dig his version :)
It kind of reminds me of when Brooklyn thought a pajama party was actually called a pagyna party. It was so darn funny, we hated to correct her, but then we realized people in public may think we are perverts.
There is nothing cuter than kids using words incorrectly or making up their own lines to songs! Love it.
Yesterday Brooklyn went to lunch and play for the first time (which is basically extended care at preschool) and I taught a class in Portland at the pearl studio so Ben and I mad a morning date of it down town.
We sat on a cafe patio, in the sun, and I watched him (there was zero sharing, despite my pleading) eat a cupcake and we oohed and ahhhhed as the street car would go by. I don't believe anything in the world would have made that boy happier. Cupcakes + trains = A happy Benny
Anything that has an engine this boy is into. It still amazes me how he just instinctively came to love these things too.
Some days I feel like can rock this motherhood thing any time, any place, any where... And then there are days where I get home after grocery shopping with a fussy 2 year old and barely muster the strength to throw a pb sand which on the table, only to discover I'm rocking a giant hole in the butt cheek of my leggings.
Today was one of those days.
In light of what happened in Boston yesterday I thankfully have an amazing grip on "perspective". The perspective is- we live in one broken down, sad and scary world. I will never understand why people choose to speak unkindly to others, let alone murder innocent people (children included) but I know that in these moments God beckons is to pray and ask for Him to come down and be with us.
I was having a very emotional day on Sunday and in the car on the way up to meet Matt with just Ben in the car I Found myself uttering a silent prayer with worship music in the back ground. Ben pulled his binky out and said with his adorable stutter "wwwwwwhat God saying mama?"
If love to ask that question today on so many fronts.
Holding (once again) my family a little closer and much tighter tonight.
Here was the sunset on my drive home from teaching last night after some amazing thunder showers here in Portland. Makes you stop and ponder all the more. I choose to believe God is still good and just, even when His people aren't.
Last Tuesday my mom called to tell me she was heading down to San Diego to be with my Grandma Mary. Grandma Mary, 95 years old, started getting less stable at a rapid speed right before we left for Sunriver. I called my mom on Monday while out doing my grocery shopping (when we got home from Sunriver) and Grandma was the same and my mom was planning on heading down to see her in two weeks. The next morning I was a a play date with some friends, talking about all my mom was going through, when I missed a call from her saying her ticket was booked, Grandma was dying quickly and my mom was leaving that afternoon.
I got home, put the kiddos down, hit the floor and prayed my heart out in preparation for what was lying ahead.
The back story (even further).
My mom got a call that her oldest brother (she is the youngest of two older brothers) was diagnosed with very aggressive cancer right before Christmas. He was put on hospice about two weeks ago. Then, the Friday before we left for our Sunriver weekend I found out she had been laid off (a blessing in disguise) and my head started spinning.
So, to recap, Friday my mom is laid off, Tuesday she leaves to be with her mom, Wednesday her brother passed away, 18 hours later she was there, laying with her mom when she passed away.
By Friday (Good Friday) I was at the end of myself emotionally. I decided to pack the kids (and multiple changes of clothes) up and head to Canon Beach for a quick day trip.
We hit the road, Brookyn said "mom, where are we going" and I told her it was a surprise. Both kids fell asleep in the car, when they woke up we were literally pulling into Canon Beach.
On the drive over it was pouring.
I literally prayed "God, should I just turn around and head home? Was this a mistake?" By the time we hit the road it was already 11:30. I turned around to see both my babies fast asleep, so I turned the music off and kept driving.
We pulled up past the hills to see this scened...
It was a glorious day. The kids played in the water for two solid hours. Chasing the waves, running from them, digging for shells, trying to find buried treasure, playing hide and seek up in the tall grass. It was exactly what our souls needed. I'm telling you, kids have a sixth sense. Neither of them knew anything that had transpired in the hours preceding our trip, but they were just as restless as I was to get in the car and drive.
We got to the sand, plunked our blankets and buckets down, tore off our shoes and socks and basked in the glorious sun, listened earnestly to the crash of the waves and embraced the cool wind blowing on our face. In that moment the song that kept playing through my mind was "It is well with my soul"....and in that moment...it was.
This little girl definitely shares her mamas passion for the vastness and power of the ocean. She reminded me so much of myself as a young girl. Fearless, enamored and in love with the waves.
We went into town and grabbed an ice cream cone and latte, sat in the sun for a while longer, and then headed home. It was a whirlwind of a trip, but EXACTLY what we needed.
My heart is just broken for my mom. She is handling all of it with such grace and beauty. Mom, I love you, I will always love you and if I could take this pain from you I would.
Last weekend Kristin and Gary gave us the weekend at their house in Sunriver. We LOVE our time in CO. Matt took a half day and we hit the road for three nights over there!
We went straight to dinner Friday night and then had a low key early to bed night once we got settled in.
Great way to start the trip! Naps all around
The views on the drive over never disappoint
B & mama at Sunriver Brewery for dinner Friday night
On Saturday morning we went into Bend to take a Barre3 class together while the kids hung out with some other littles their age in the child care. Then we went to breakfast at the Mckay house which I had read amazing reviews on.
Saturday morning. So thrilled to be in the SNOW
Matt's first Barre3 class :)
It was single handedly the best dining out experience we've ever had with the kids. They had coffee and heat lamps all set up on the porch for the wait, as well as this great patio spot where we warmed our hands.
Then the kids shared a breakfast which came with two of these adorable bunny pancakes. They brought out a fresh fruit platter for each kid the second we sat down, along with crayons and these things called silly swirls to shape into all sorts of fun things. Then as we were leaving they brought the kids up to the front desk to give them a "present" which was a bag of their home made granola. Seriously awesome!
This pretty much sums up the whole weekend. Lots of silliness! :)
Then we headed to the park and played and then off to our wonderful friends, the Vlach's house for some fun visit time.
The boys were having a ball blowing out a candle together (we quickly discovered they both shared a love for flames...yikes ;)
Brooklyn, Ben and Canon
On Sunday we packed up and headed toward Bachelor to go sledding. Kelly, Travis and Canon joined us. The kids (and adults too) had a fantastic time. The weather was wonderful and the kids were troopers. We had a great lunch and then headed home for some quiet time.
Kelly, Canon, Brooklyn & I
Sunday night we stayed in, made dinner and went walking. The kids favorite was of course the horeses that live three houses down. Brooklyn decided to make names up for them since we had no way of actually knowing their names. I think this time they were Shimmer, Bella and Lucy. All girls, of course.
It was a perfect weekend. Exactly what our souls needed. My favorite memory however is not one I took a picture of. It was when I walked into the room the kids were sharing to find Matt on the floor reading to them. Such a look of ease on his face. No preoccupied thought floating in the back of his mind of what paper was due the following week or prefacing his time with them with "ok, I can read for 20 min and then daddy needs to go study". It made me smile and sigh*
Ben hurried into the bathroom, naked, his little buns clenched together saying "I need to go POOPY!"
I pop him up on the toilet, he grabs my hands in his like he always does to balance. He then pulls his forehead to mine and says "mama, you my beeeeessssst fwiend".
I started crying I was so touched.
Other funny benny-ism's as of lately:
He pushed the crusts of his pbj across the table to me and declared "I don't yik my chan-chinch!"
He loves to make "jokes" like his sister does. A few nights back at the dinner table he said something we couldn't quite catch like this "I going to go get mine...CHEESE!!! Ahhhahahahah" He thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever said OR heard so he repeated it over and over and we were all in hysterics because each time he'd say it he'd get a little louder and then laugh a little harder.
He was running in circles in our living room and tripped, he almost landed in the corner of the table. Thank God he didn't. He picked himself up and said "dat was pwetty cwose!!"
My favorite things he says lately are: "fanks" (with that precious lisp) and "oh, sowwy bout dat"
Brooklyn had a "make up" class for ballet a few weeks back. So we were there in the afternoon instead of the morning. As we were leaving we passed a room where a teenage girl was doing a solo dance performance for her class. Brooklyn and Ben stood outside the door to watch. I look down at the doorway to see Ben has laid himself down on his belly, head resting in his hands watching this girl in awe. It was hilarious. For a total dudes dude, he sure loves to be one of the girls.
celebrating grams birthday
Brooklyn continues to love school, anything having to do with dance, clothes and animals. Here are a few outfits she's picked for herself over the past few months. I have to be sneakier about getting the picture because I don't ever want her to think I'm taking it to make fun of her, actually, it's quite the opposite. I adore that she LOVES and owns her sense of style. I know people from time to time question why I let her decide entirely what she wants to wear daily, it's simple: she loves doing it. To her it really is a way to express the mood she's in or what she feels like embodying that day. Yes, I would love to have a little more say just because that's one of the fun parts of having a daughter, but who am I to tell her what looks good and what doesn't at age 4? I look back on pictures now or at friends who have daughters that are 2 and realize she wanted to dress herself then! She is a strong willed little one.
love this girl
Choice for a rainy Tuesday: neon green socks, sparkly open toed sandals, pink sweat pants, Rapunzel night gown, grey blazer
A chill Friday night at home in the Feenstra house consists of a little cross dressing fashion show :) Yes, that is Ben's hat, polo, cord pants made into capris, and his kicks that are too big.
Trying on her Easter dress that Mimi bought her. Such a poser.
Trying on clothes in the brass plum at our mall mother daughter date last weekend.
This one I picked for her the other day. she HATES jeans, so this was a one time only sighting.
Here was a song she was singing for Ben and I at lunch after school on Monday. I love this precious girls heart and the love she has for our heavenly Father. What a treasure.
Here are some other pics I have been meaning to post for a few months
valentines day visit with Mimi and papa
all boy- he loved playing with worms
sweet girl showing off her dinosaur hat she made at school for dino week
love this, she was reading her "cook book" while lounging in the sun on the sidewalk
bff's
I watched my friend Christie and Jinger's kiddos after school last Friday: Brooklyn, Ben, Noah, Noah, Natalie and Elsa. We had a blast!!
whip cream hits in the mouth
Brooklyn and Kali playing dress up :)
diva...DI-VA!
Blessed: divinely or supremely favored. That is the one word that comes to mind when I scroll through these pictues. I don't remember life prior to my children, or my amazing husband for that matter. I crave authenticity, it's part of my dna, and if you've read my blog for any length of time you know that. Marriage and parenthood is hard work (I actually can't stand talking to people who claim other wise), but it's the best kind of work that exists. I am so humbled that God gave me these people, all of them, husband, babies, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, the whole chebang.
