morning coffee thoughts

As I sit here sipping my cup of coffee, I have all the windows open and there is the crisp feeling in the air. Fall is just around the corner.
There is something very special about the fall season to me. It's a feeling of newness. renewal. promise.

When matt and I were in the throws of all of the miscarriage ugliness I remember two instances where God spoke, and both were during the fall.

One was on a drive home from sunriver, the leaves were starting to change, there was a chill in the air, the sky had that gorgeous shade of blue with just wisps of clouds painted across the sky. We were just heading through the curves of the pass (you know, where the view becomes insanely gorgeous) and I was talking/bargaining (as I often did) with God when I felt this calm come over me. He told me to be patient, He wasn't done with the story and the "fall" season was going to hold something amazing. He did not tell me it would be that fall, or the next or the next...but the promise was made and I clung tightly to it.

Then there was a morning when we took Hurley for a walk in our old neighborhood in Tigard. We would walk and talk through our thoughts and feelings, dream and plan for the next steps in our journey. It was a saturday morning and the ducks were playing that day. I remember having that same feeling come over me...only this time it was next fall that blessing was on it's way. This was after we had lost Luke, so to even feel a twinge of hope was incredible. Little did I know that by fall I would be pregnant with a healthy baby girl. The following fall I had a baby in my arms, two falls later I was pregnant again with another healthy baby, and this past fall I had another baby in my arms. Promises fulfilled.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for this coming season. It is not going to be anything big like pregnancy or a birth, but I will always have this time of year to remind me of the promises that were made and answered.

Thank you Lord for seasons and change, but mostly for your faithful, unending love and grace.