Wednesday ramblings from a mom in love

I'm a mom. Surprise!

But seriously. I'm a M.O.M. To not only 1, but 2 amazing kids. I don't know about you, but every 6 months or so it dawns on me all over again that I have been put in charge of these kids...to raise them, love them, encourage them...but even beyond that I am raising these teeny tiny people to be functioning humans in society. That's a lot of pressure! I make a joke to Matt when this thought enters my mind and then I look up to the heavens, kind of like "really? Me? You trust ME with these two precious lives? I'm just a kid myself!"

It's just kind of mind blowing. Even more so now that we have some decisions to make outside of "what should we make them for dinner". Decisions about school for Brooklyn next year. She's either going to be the oldest or the youngest of her class. We are confident in our decision about holding her back so she has the advantage of being a little older rather than way younger, but still that means heavy decisions for next year. She'll end up doing something twice, whether its the 4's one more time or kinder twice. Sounds so trivial as I write it, and I know in my heart that God already knows the answer and I just need to trust my instinct...but this marks the first decision we've had to make on behalf of our child that has truly taken lots of prayer, consideration and thought.

I sometimes pause and think back on my life as a child. Especially now that I have a daughter (heaven help me).

My mom used to take me to get my hair highlighted in high school. Every school dance I got my nails done, and not just a manicure, but full blown acrylic nails! I mean, that's crazy. Now that I'm a mom myself I think about it and audibly shake my head and say "there's no way we are paying for Brooklyn to get her 17 yr old hair highlighted or her sassy teenage self to get fake nails for each winter formal." But on the flip side, I'm *just* wise enough to know that I have NO IDEA what high school will entail (or even next year for that matter)...until we're there. I have no clue what kind of things I will be willing to sacrifice (like my parents did) in order to spoil errr I mean, bless my kids. Parenthood is much different than I thought it would be. Harder, messier, uglier, tireder (is that a word?)...but also so much more miraculous, take your breath away, knock you off your socks, send you to the moon, would do anything kind of love than I could have EVER wrapped my puny mind around. I'm a better person having these two in my life, and I pray with every fiber of my being that I don't screw this up :)

And that's my rambling thoughts on this Wednesday. Oh the things I do...and will continue to do for these two faces.

Playing "hair style" the other night