Benny, benny, benny boy

Oh son of mine! You are something to be-HOLD!
You are 15+ months old now. You are a lot like your sister in the fact that you run everywhere, so we've had lots of tumbles these past few months. So thankful nothing major.

The house got awfully quiet the other day, so I walked back to find you. As I passed the bathroom I spotted you- on the counter!! You had managed to not only climb up on the bathroom stool, but got onto the toilet, then onto the counter. We don't leave the bathroom door open anymore ;-)

You talk non stop. We still don't know exactly what you are saying, but you manage to communicate very well. For instance, once you finish your meal, I'll say "Benny would you like some more food" and you will simply shake your head emphatically "yes" or "no". You seem much less frustrated now that we can talk this way.

You are really and truly sleeping through the night now!

You love shoes. You will bring me a pair of shoes, sometimes they aren't even yours and you want to put them on, then take them right back off.

You are starting to love books (which is so fun!) you will grab a book and then walk over to where I'm sitting on the floor, you turn around and back up so you can sit in my lap. This never ceases to make me smile ear to ear and give you lot's of kisses.

You are super ticklish on your thighs and ribs. The laugh that maneuver induces is intoxicating! Daddy and I love to play tickle games after dinner with you and Brooklyn.

You love to climb up onto the couch that sits in front of the window in the front room and point to all the cars that go by, the dogs across the street and anything else that catches your attention say "ohhhhh" or something else you totally understand.

Brooklyn is still your favorite playmate. You guys have a new game where you put stuffed animals in the little red wagon, and then you take turns chasing one another around the house. Whoever is towing the wagon takes off and the other one chases.
Here are your words:
mama (which you say like this mamammmmmmma)
dada
uh oh
bye (byeeeee)

I have a feeling the flood gates are going to open soon and all those things you've been jibbering to us is going to turn into English! I will miss your jabber sounds once you can talk because you are so emphatic and we can all tell you know EXACTLY what you are saying!

This is how you flirt (you were actually leaning in for a kiss from miss Kinley)

you totally dig popcorn

Your "signature" smile

Sweet boy, love you more than life! Thanks for keeping me on my toes and making my days brighter!

Wearing my heart outside my body

I picked Brooklyn up from school today and she was running around in the room with two of the other students (both girls). One of the little girls stopped Brooklyn and put her hands on her chest and was saying "no, stop" to her. I couldn't tell exactly what context they had been playing, but the way I took it was this little girl was telling B she couldn't play chase with them. I walked right over and kind of just stood there, examining the situation, waiting to intervene. The game fizzled out and I said "Brooklyn, let's get going". I walked out with tears stinging my eyes. I literally had to hold it together and choke them back. I have never in all my life felt a burning inside like that. She was completely un-phased by it, in fact while asking her all kinds of questions on the way home she said the girls are really nice to her, so who really knows.
I plan to talk to both of her teachers on Thursday to find out if this has ever been a problem before. I have never heard a word about any issues from her or her teachers, so maybe it was nothing and I'm totally reading into it...but it gave me a glimpse into what will happen someday. Not everyone is going to love my sweet baby, and just like I had to go through some hard friendships and feelings of exclusion & bullying, I know B will as well. It just hurts so much more on this side of things. Funny thing...a mother's love. There is truly nothing I wouldn't do to protect my children, and I have never felt anything so instinctual: that need to protect her. Don't mess with my babies!!

My wonderful sister in law reminded me of one of the funniest stories ever. Her best friend Brit's mom (when they were three) told a little girl who had been repeatedly mean to Brit, that they were having a circus part with real lions and tigers and that she wasn't invited. Ha! Made me giggle.

It's true what they say, having children changes everything. I already knew this, I've just been learning that the truth TO it only intensifies as they grow. Just as my love for them grows deeper every day, so do my concerns with raising children in this world, protecting, providing, edifying, enriching and raising them to be gentle, kind, generous people. I can't protect them from everything, and that's a jagged pill to swallow. I guess my main job is to raise them to be smart enough to know when someone just needs prayer, and how to walk away and shake it off.

quarantine

This was Brooklyn 30 min after gymnastics class last week. So sad. She spiked a fever while we were on the way to the dr appointment I had made that morning for Ben, as he had been tugging on his ears for a few days. She curled up on the table and didn't talk or move.



Meanwhile, in the same teeny, tiny room, the medical staff took turns trying to torture Ben (those were his words) by trying to get an oxygen saturation measurement on his toe. He wanted no part of it. Screams could be heard throughout the building. Finally had one. The dr was not pleased by the 76% read and ordered an X ray to verify if he did or did not have pneumonia.

This was the only pic I got because he was hysterical, poor guy. This table/tube pinned his arms above his head and I was told by the nice technician that "the harder he cries, the better for the picture".

After this excitement we headed back up to the dr office to get Brooklyn officially checked out and wait for the results of Ben's films.

I am BEYOND thankful that Bethany had the day off from work and rushed right over to help me. She held precious Brooklyn (and bought the kids juice that came in these awesome dinosaur bottles *brilliant distraction*) and I tried to keep Benny distracted.

3.5 hours later we were finally home, with both kids, antibiotics, and a diagnoses of both kids having double ear infections a nasty virus and Benny has bronchillitis and pneumonia. Phew.

Benny is using a nebulizer to treat his poor lungs

Dr office- Brooklyn took this one



Thankful to have that week behind us. I am so sad to hear that many of our close friends now seem to have the same and/or similar viruses. "Just stay home" seems to be the theme of this winter. I feel blessed that my kids are going to recover just fine and we still have our true health. It could always be a lot worse.

A week in pictures

These kiddos are growing up way too fast! Right before my eyes they are turning into children, not babies. So awesome, yet so not. I want to freeze time (when they're behaving) haha, and just relish it.

I had been pretty pathetic about taking pictures for the last few months aside from the holiday's, so I made a point of getting out the camera.

Benny now makes the smile below as soon as he see's it come out. His sister did the same thing at his age!

born to be wild

longing to be outside with the big kids

Benny and his lady friend Quinny

These two :)

benny

brooklyn

These are silk pj's that belonged to my mom

Date night! Leaving for Grandpa aka Chuck's birthday dinner

Wonderful dinner, celebrating a wonderful man

Bedtime Prayer

Tonight was one of those moments I wish I could freeze for eternity.

Brooklyn's bedtime prayer tonight:

"Dear Jesus, thank you for the beautiful sunshine today, thank you for your love, thank you for my cousins Allie and Caitlin, and my baby cousin who needs to be borned. And please heal Kristin, and thank you for my family. Dear Jesus, amen."

This girl melts me from the inside out.

It's not funny...or cute

I was about to write a scathing post. A rant about how SERIOUSLY hard the last few weeks have been. I was about to tell you how my son refused to sit in his high chair tonight while out to dinner at Red Robin with a friend and her littles. Screaming bloody murder, I finally caved and let him out. He proceeded to take off across the restaurant, find the broom and then whack everything in sight including his poor disheveled mother with it. I was about to tell you how exhausted I am because the kid won't SLEEP at night!! Seriously, day 5 of 7 that he has been up over 3 hours during the night. I drove home this evening thinking ridiculous thoughts (all of which are true) but still ridiculous, and selfish, about how stinking hard this all is *right now*.

EXHALE.

Then, I opened up blogger (prepared to be truly raw, honest and candid) to find a post from fellow blogger on the top of my page. She is due any moment with her first baby.

The joy in her voice, the sheer giddiness leading up to those final moments before baby comes...it reverberates off the page. She's in love beyond her wildest dreams, but she has no idea what's to come. How her heart will grow even more than it already has! It is truly incomprehensible.

So, the truth is...life kinda sucks at the moment (and that's ok). It's hard to be a single parent. Have a husband who feels like utter crap, who works full time and is the throws of an ethics/law class and has a paper due tomorrow. Hey, I can be honest. It's a brief season, this much I KNOW.

HOWEVER, I needed that beautiful image in my head. The flash back to being "due any day". The picture in my head of how longed for these two stubborn, strong willed children of mine were. I ached for them in a way most can't fathom. So, tonight I am admitting this parenting thing (especially the ages- 3 & 1) is hard!!! But, it's still all good.

A precious older couple who had the misfortune of sitting behind our table at red robin walked out at the same time as we did. The gentleman looked at me and said "he's so cute, and funny!" I grumbled in my head all the way to the car (while Ben proceeded to screech in my ear and rip at my hair) "it's not funny or cute!". And it's not... to me right now. But that's the beauty of perspective, it will be, someday. When he's onto GI Joes and far too busy to snuggle me after school, these moments will have a lasting effect. They just give me wrinkles right now.

Beauty and the Beast

Matt is took Brookyn on a date last Sunday afternoon to see "Beauty and the Beast" in 3D. He told her the details of their "date" after her nap (she napped like 4 days in a row last week by the way- WOW!) She was beyond excited! She started clapping and jumping and asking what she could wear.

The joy in her eyes at the prospect of a special afternoon outing with just she and her daddy, and to see one of her favorite movies in the "FE-turr" about did her in. She asked every 3 minutes up until it was time to leave "is it time for our special date now?"

They didn't end up lasting through the whole thing, but Matt said the look on her face was priceless and it was great one on one time for the two of them.